April 2009
40 posts
I would have had jim morrison’s child… as long as it didn’t come out retarded
March 2009
104 posts
anything is possible
NEWS REPORT- Flow of immigrants into America has slowed to barely a drip. Would “rather try our luck..” in home country seems to be theme.
more and more people are following me every day… I feel like the pied piper for losers
I’d say I’m not a morning person… but I’m never really up in the morning so I’m not sure
if I hit 200 hundred followers today I’ll release the hostages
incidentally humor never came easy to me as a child…
who needs a colon really?
apparently fish should limit their skittle intake
if you seek amy sideways and doggy style while I’m calling you daddy and you’re whispering sweet nothings in my ear- see- not vulgar at all
yea the operation went well mom- I am starting to see everyones point about it being “trendy” but I am still stoked to have this third ear
shiloh jolie-pitt is following me… what role reversal for that family
I love when I watch one b list celebrity suck up to another b list celebrity… basically i love twitter folks
my tv is stuck on the lifetime chanel playing at full volume- I can actually feel estrogen pushing at my nascent breasts
I hate irish food
if I just got up and ran everyday I’d be fitter healthier and probably have a better outlook on life- but then when would I drink gin
If only you could actually blame everything that goes wrong on your parents… I would… even what these SWAT guys are gonna find
these days I hardly have time to feed my cats… to the pythons that I keep in the basement
btw I’m averaging almost fourty twits a day… that means I probably didn’t get hugged enough as a child
yea no the radiation is harmless… now let me just put this lead bib over your body and stand behind that concrete partition for a second
I’ve recently decided I don’t like you for sure. the restraining order was the last straw.
one time I had a dog… and one time my neighbors had kids… well so the neighbors moved… and I’m not allowed to have a dog anymore…
the morning has literally sucked any semblance of humor out of my body… and it’s barely even the morning any more
“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t...”
– David Bowie
“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.”
– Pablo Picasso
